For Women Only
(a small break from BlessedCause)
Ladies, as a society, we've lost the art of womanhood, and it's cost us.
"Feminism" is anything but feminine.
Is your marriage failing? Does your boyfriend avoid proposing? Do you
feel cherished?
Most of my adult life I was a modern woman equipped with feminist
beliefs. Then I read an old book called Fascinating Womanhood by
Helen Andelin, and it radically changed my life, second only to the Bible.
I've had more proposals these last 7 years than I did in all my younger
years, when I was thinner and far prettier. I've had to refrain from using
the principals of the book because I was seriously hurting many male
friends when I wasn't interested in them romantically.
Though justified in divorcing my "would-have-been" husband, I take full
responsibility for the failure of my marriage because of the way I talked
to him. I was reaping what I sowed. I shudder when I hear other women talk
to their husbands the way I used to talk to my ex.
When my friend, Genie, first lent me Fascinating Womanhood, I
told her there was NO WAY I could be like that. My dad raised me to be a
tomboy, I spent many hours under cars with him. Living in the mountains, I
prided myself on being a pioneer woman who killed her own snakes. There
was no way I could suddenly become someone I wasn't. Genie wisely said,
"Jen, you will take to it like water because it's in your nature, you were
born with it." She was absolutely right. She also told me that the
first time she read the book, she literally burned it, it made her so mad.
But later when her marriage was suffering she remembered some of what she
read and tried it. The results are phenomenal.
Since then, as a child care provider, women often dropped off their
children in tears because of fights they just came from with their
husbands. I'd lend them this book and within days they would come back
glowing, understanding why their husbands treated them the way they were,
and taking steps to restore their marriage. And it's FUN.
There are times I hate being in this battle over our schools, because I
have to confront so many people. This is one of the reasons women
(and the Bible confirms it) should not have to be in leadership, it's not
healthy for us. We can't be the women we were created to be while
confronting these issues. But when pastors refuse to.... (deep
sigh) another issue.
Ladies, men need to be noticed for their masculinity, but we're so busy
trying to gain position over them and going toe-to-toe with them, that we
may win the battle but lose the war, divorce papers are filed and children
lose their dads. It doesn't have to be so. You can have a husband who
cherishes you. You can be the most important person in his life apart from
Christ. Is there a woman among us who doesn't want to be cherished?
Feminists hate this book and so do many men who have read it, because
they don't like to think of themselves as so predictable. But a woman who
follows the principals in Fascinating Womanhood is so valuable and
sought by men. The emphasis must be on sincerity which is crucial.
For instance, a man doesn't want to feel manipulated by a woman who
flatters him, and God condemns flattery. What we need to do is train our
eyes to honestly notice the many masculine traits and actions of
men, and comment on them.
Men don't like to hear this. They don't want to think women make an
effort to think this way, but they want us to think this way. Just try
commenting on the muscles or strength of men and watch the flowers pile
up. Before I started to refrain from making such comments, I'm sure my
florist was beginning to wonder why I was receiving so many flowers from
so many different men. My neighbors must have wondered why this
"Christian" woman had so many men offer to come over and do MANual labor
around her house.
It certainly wasn't what they suspected. I lived a decadent life prior to
committing my life to God, and I did the things many would attribute the
attention to, but I wasn't receiving the attention back then, because men do not
value worldy women. They do appreciate women with high godly standards,
(though Hollywood works so hard to convince us otherwise), and women who
sincerely notice the masculine things about them and say so. Men LONG to
be noticed for their masculinity, and we women have been depriving them of it. The way our society of women talk to men is
SHAMEFUL.
This book, of which I have no association with and I don't make a dime,
gives the nuts and bolts of application. Ever read a book that makes
a lot of sense but gives a vague idea of what to do? That doesn't help
much. This book is RICH with examples, actual word for word ideas, with
FUN ways of talking to men when we're angry with them that doesn't
challenge their masculinity. Ladies, we can have almost anything we want
if we would just learn how to ask! Men love to spoil us if we would just
respond in a feminine way. It's an art, and it's lost in America. If you
want a healthy enjoyable marriage, find it. This book is a great way.
Don't drag your husband to marriage counseling if he doesn't want to go. Is there a man alive
who appreciates that? They resent it and it makes matters worse. God
created us to be the nurturers and if we would nurture our husbands, we
would reap rewards. Yes men can be jerks, my ex was a jerk often, and
everyone agrees I should have divorced him. But it's because of the way I
talked to him. I shudder when I remember, after reading this book. I
treated him the opposite of this book, the way today's society advises us
to. He would have been a different man if I had treated him like a man and
appreciated him for the man he was.
Cont'd pg 2
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